Your Summer Date Ideas Are Horrible
(Disclaimer: this post is all in good fun)
I’ve seen this post going viral lately. 25 Things Every Couple Should Do This Summer. Cute, right?!
Well, let’s take a look at this list and talk about what each of these things ACTUALLY mean…
1. Go skinny-dipping
Okay, this one isn’t too bad. Get naked together and do yo thang if that’s what you’re into.
2. Race each other.
How is this fun? Or cute? I just imagine being like “hey! lets race, ready, go!” and M just staring at me.
3. Make out at the top of the ferris wheel.
Because there are so many ferris wheels just hanging out all over the place. Go find one. And make out. How about you just make out where ever the hell you want to make out?
4. Buy a guide and go stargazing.
Why do you need a guide for this? Go lay in your backyard and look up.
No one ACTUALLY finds/understands constellations.
5. Watch the sunset from the hood of your car.
Have you ever tried to legitimately sit/lay on the hood of a car for a long period of time? Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like i’m going to make it cave in at any given moment in time. Add my man up there too and our next date is going to be to the auto body shop to get it fixed.
6. Campout in your backyard.
I like this one. Do this. Unless you live in an apartment. It might not work so well.
7. Have a candlelit outdoor dinner.
Two things come to mind with this one. 1) Flies annoy me. And eating outside with flies doesn’t sound appealing to me. and 2) Good luck lighting and candle long enough for an entire meal without the wind blowing it out.
8. Kiss as fireworks explode in the background.
And make sure you post it on Instagram July 4th or 5th like every other human being that day. #merica
9. Get cozy at a drive-in movie.
I haven’t seen a drive-in movie in AGES. Please don’t make this a priority on your summer bucket list.
10. Write your initials in the sand.
This is just silly. And cliche. And I’m not driving 10+ hours to get to a beach to do this & you shouldn’t either.
11. Get a couples massage, on the beach.
Again, unless you live by the beach this is just silly. Go get on in your hometown where you can then go home and take a nap in your own bed.
12. Rent a convertible.
Renting a car for a day just to drive around town seems like a ridiculous waste of money. I ain’t about that life.
13. Eat a ridiculously expensive dinner (and a bunch of other stuff).
I can’t even say anything bad about this. I love eating out. Cheap dinners, expensive dinners, I love them all and I do not discriminate.
14. Dance outside in a summer rain shower.
By the time you’re done taking pictures for instagram and posting about the weather on Facebook, the rain will have probably stopped and you won’t have time to dance in it.
15. Leave a sweet sticky note on the bathroom mirror.
Girls love this stuff. Guys won’t notice it for three weeks.
16. People watch in a park and make up stories for each couple you see.
I do this on a daily basis so adding it to my summer bucket list seems counterproductive.
17. Have a picnic.
Again, can’t say anything bad about this one. I love me a good picnic. (And by ‘picnic’ I mean I love going to subway and eating it in the park)
18. Take a bike ride.
How many of you grown adults actually own bikes? No really, i’d like to know…
19. Make a bet over a round of mini golf.
20. Be like kids and go fly a kite.
When was the last time you tried to fly a kite? IT’S HARD! I mean truly, it hardly EVER works. Don’t waste your time.
21. Volunteer at an animal shelter.
Don’t do this. Your girlfriend will want to leave with 3 dogs and every cat there.
22. Compete for who can take the most ridiculous selfie.
Why is this even on a bucket list of any kind? Don’t do this.
23. Play in the sprinklers.
Another one that isn’t so terrible.
24. Share an ice cream cone.
Screw you, I will not share any of kind of ice cream with you. You may get your own.
25. Kiss in the ocean.
Again, the whole “traveling to find an ocean” thing is really putting a damper on this list. And trying to battle waves? And seaweed? And ocean monsters? Doesn’t sound terribly romantic to me.
All jokes aside, I hope you all have the greatest summer, whatever you decide to do! What IS one thing on your summer bucket list?! I would love to hear about it! (And I promise not to make fun of it!) I hope this made someone giggle a little bit, and remember this was all in good fun. 😉