This isn’t an easy post for me to write and that’s not because I just got my nails done and typing is ridiculously hard. I knew at some point I wanted to talk about certain things going on in my life, but I never knew when would be the “right time”.
Though I don’t want to go into massive detail right this second, life has been kind of crappy lately. By “lately” I mean the last 6 months or so. I can’t get “happy”. It’s like I’m in a constant battle with myself to be happy. Sounds ridiculous, right? I know, you don’t have to tell me. My life is beautiful, I am blessed with more than I could dream of, and all in all, I should never be depressed a day in my life. But the truth is, I am.
Each week I am going to start doing a “Gratitude Journal”. I think it is so so important to have positive thoughts and energy and this is something I truly want to work on. I want to work on ME. I want to be the best mother and wife I can be, and that starts with ME. I’ve got to change something.
I thought about sharing something about this on Facebook, but it deserves so much more than just a status. Like I said, my life is beautiful. Why should I out of all people be unhappy?! We have a home, vehicles, jobs…etc.
I so badly want to soak this all in and TRULY be grateful.
So here goes a little story:
If you know me, you know I’m a little more emotional than the average person. I’ve talked about it before, but I cry… a lot. Too happy…crying. Too sad…crying. So lets talk about the times I feel MOST blessed. Grocery shopping. I know, I know. What?! But it’s true. I go to the grocery story and truly get to buy anything I want without stressing. We get to eat good healthy food, we’ve never had an empty fridge, and if we run out of something we can ALWAYS go back to the store and get a refill. I feel so blessed that we get to live our life like that because I know so many others don’t. 9 times out of 10 when I check out at the grocery store, I start crying. (Those poor cashiers.) Not a full blown bawling cry, but tears are shed. Every time I check out I can’t believe I get to live the life I live and eat the food we do. (This sounds so much more silly now that i’m typing it out, but I still wanted to share!)
With this “Gratitude Journal”, I want to reflect on the week and just truly take time to be mindful and grateful for things that have taken place.
So let’s recap:
-Baby girl had her 6th birthday party and I am so grateful I have amazing in-laws who hosted it at their home and that so many of our siblings, plus both our parents got to be there. Family time is so special.
– This past week at work went by SO fast. And for that, I am grateful. Hashtag blessed.
– I took an ice cold shower tonight (after a hot bath), but for some reason I was so thankful for clean water and the bath was amazing.
– The ability to “feel”. This isn’t a place I ever thought I would find myself in emotionally, but I am thankful for these emotions. I am thankful I am aware. I am thankful I am making changes.
I also would love to start reading some “self love/inspiration” books. Do you have any suggestions? I have a few I want to order, but I love getting feedback from others!
I am so excited to be starting this “series”.
I hope to post every sunday night, in hopes of preparing myself for a good, positive week.
I hope you all are doing well! I’ve been absent for some time, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I love you all! Thank you for taking the time to read this. <3